i don’t know where to start.  i’m so wound i can’t sit down.  the good news is that i have found my mojo.  it was in a tupperware container in a cupboard.  i got it open with my feline ingenuity, and my power came back like a lion to the kill.  it was like regrowing testicles!!!  then when the bitch cats came after me, instead of running under the bed, i pounced.  i chased them up the walls and across the ceiling, and now they’re under the bed where they belong and i’m the Cat King!

the bad news is that i read my facebook feed before the New York Times, and i see that the president has lifted the ban on elephant trophy imports.  this is a disgusting turn of events in a long line of disgusting turns, and while it breaks my heart that he has no heart for the animal kingdom, i need to point out that he has no heart for humans, either.  i’m not a politicat, but come on, what did people expect?  yes, it’s shocking to read about the further endangerment of an already endangered animal, but it is no more shocking than the further endangerment of black America, immigrants, refugees, Muslims, Jews, LGBTQ, public school children, women, the poor, the middle class, and the environment.

people, listen:  you’re all wound up in Roy Moore and Al Franken and Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein, and though i salute you for finally noticing that this kind of cat poop has been going on for a looooooong time, nevertheless you are playing  with a red herring.  the real culprit is the man who is on record as saying “just grab them by the pussy!”  and he wasn’t talking about anybody’s feline friend.  you want to talk about criminal behavior?  let’s talk about the man in the oval office.  how is he getting away with it?  why doesn’t anyone care?

i’d like to invite y’all to find the tupperware container where your mojo is hiding.  open it and regrow whatever body part you need to crawl out from under the bed.  it’s time to chase the real culprit out the door.   growl, y’all.